The responses here are intriguing. I could answer this question with my own failures and the successes. (“Success” meaning “I recognized what was going on and I acted.”) I might be as slow to understand as a brick wall, but eventually I understand. Don't call me an “ally,” though—I'm just doing the work to get myself to be the kind of person I want to be, and that it a person who loves, respects, and values the people around me.
What I find intriguing is the hostile responses generated here by those questions. If we think that ultimately fairness and respect are useful, universal attributes that we humans should be displaying, then an honest examination of our own behaviors is a very good tool to re-awaken that in the context of our employment—because surely the place we will spend 50% or more of our waking time should be a place where we are respected and cherished, and where we respect and cherish others. Sure, we might fail, but the goal is always there, and we can do better.
Instead what I see is that some people are reactive to the idea that the workplace might be both actively and passively hostile to the undercounted and unseen. Rather than take the opportunity to say “I simply never thought about thinking about this. Thanks for the reminder to be a better human,” the responses seem to be that we shouldn't be looking at things that are uncomfortable to look at, and if some people around us are treated as if they are invisible in their diversity—well, then, too bad, but we're not going to waste time thinking about them as people.
I appreciate that you keep sharing, though. I imagine that most of the time you feel as if you're shouting into the air. But some of us who read you are trying to listen better, and then learn how to behave better as well.