I do appreciate that.

I say that I’m a work in progress, not to excuse my failings, but to be open about the fact that as much as I‘'’d like to be able to find and extirpate that thing within me that is entwined with racism so much that it is like one side of the DNA helix, it‘'’s not a thing that can be cut out like a tumor.

Instead, it is the long, slow, slog to evaluate what I do against what I think I should be doing, and then attempt to right the actions that I’m doing as well as put to right the wrongs that I have committed.

You will be disappointed in me because you’ll find something someday that is utterly stupid and wrong about me. And I just know it’s going to happen. I am trying to be fully open about everything, for a few reasons:

One is that it is way more freeing to be open and to accept the critiques that result from that openness.

But the other is for my own wyte people who might be as stuck as I am in the culture of being wyte. I want to show that there are ways out of that culture and into freedom and grace and happiness and acceptance and all the rest that we say that we want but do not often know how to get. American wyte men are especially trapped; I am hoping that some will see the gleam of hope that they can leave a toxic, damaging, and isolating cultural role. Here is the way I’m doing it; you can probably find such a way yourself and perhaps learn from my mistakes along the way where the dead-ends are and how sometimes a good-sounding thing is actually a terrible thing.

I appreciate far more than you know the responses I get for correction and done to bring me to task on my actions as compared to my words and intentions.

If you find it within yourself and have the energy and will to respond to me, please do speak directly what you think.

I assure you, my feelings won’t be hurt and I’m not going to go away in a huff. I’ve been working to become free for almost fifteen years now. I’m not going to throw it all away because someone speaks to me a truth that is, well, true.

Again, thanks for your kind responses.

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Writer; observer; sometimes doer. Fiat justitia ruat cælum. More at stephenmatlock.com Mostly off Medium now & writing elsewhere

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